From my JunkBox -- Rajnikanth

Rajinikanth, the god of celluloid and his can do's. Did you said a book can't be judged by its cover?

When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.
There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.
Rajinikanth can divide by zero.
Rajinikanth can judge a book by it's cover.
Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.
Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
Rajinikanth can make onions cry.
Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.
Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
Rajinikanth doesn't breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.
Rajinikanth doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.
Rajinikanth knows Victoria's secret.
Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.
Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.
Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.
Rajinikanth's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajinikanth.
Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
Rajinikanth is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Rajinikanth doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
When you say "no one is perfect", Rajinikant takes this a personal insult.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
When Rajinikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn't know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.
Rajinikanth can answer a missed call